When I Met the Interior Designer

My hands are trembling while I’m trying to figure out how my diminutive courage can bring me in front of many people. Taking snaps in front of many people is the weakness I yet to overcome. I’m there inside Jaro Cathedral, clad in blue blouse holding the camera I’m just learning to manipulate. It was the blessing and unveiling of St. Josemaria’s, portrait there. The event seemed too historical, seemed too big for the founder of Opus Dei, who came from Spain is now in Iloilo. The responsibility of taking pictures seemed a little challenging. I paused for few minutes and prayed.

On Prayer and Beliefs

I prayed. Since when did I learn how to pray? I learned it in my childhood from my Lola and with my young mind; she made me understand its importance. But as I grew, I failed to note its significance and valued different things. I can succeed without prayer. I can achieve many things without prayer. I am happy without prayer.

From the time I entered a university, my mind was conquered by agonistics. Slowly, I became “pseudo-atheist”. Does a deity or any form of supernatural being exist? I kept on asking that to myself. What’s the use of performing all the traditional practices that Spanish brought to the Philippines? More so, I find mass boring. I find all the conventional Catholic practices tedious and uninteresting. I loathed the lamentations of priests and religious sectors regarding social issues. Part of my mindset was influenced by my father who only believes in doing “good” to others and that “good” is enough. One need not attend to mass or merely pray as long as he does “good”. From then, my spirit was devoured by wrong beliefs caused by lack of information and shallow understanding of Catholic rituals.

Getting Closer to God

My life was changed when two women by the name of Ruth and Cherry came to our house. My sister brought them there. I was captured by their cheerfulness and simplicity. They then invited me to visit Tawili. At first I was reluctant for my busy schedule as a graduating student seemed too much to bear. I visited Tawili anyway and got a little glimpse of the Catholic institution founded by St. Josemaria. From then on, a subtle transition occurred in my life.

By constantly attending the classes, I get to learn more about certain ascetical and doctrinal topics – things I do not get to understand while growing up. I attended the doctrine classes on Saturdays. It happened. Slowly, I got closer God. From then, my life as a rebel changed. Through the spiritual directions and basic formation, I get to know more about myself and how disturbed my interior life is.

Tawili turned me on. The simplicity, cleanliness, and orderliness of the center are really admirable. Moreover, the girls there are very accommodating and their expertises in their field of endeavors are commendable.

Reluctance and Erudition

I considered myself an open-minded and intellectually liberated women and I find it hard to accept the belief of Catholic Church regarding the RH Bill. There are arguments in my mind regarding their strong opposition on this issue. The qualm is left unsolved not until I got to understand the Catholic doctrine. Yes, like others, I often ask myself: How dare these people resist such bill created for the improvement of quality of life? The virtue of temperance and purity is especially considered in the fight for halting its legalization. I learned the essence of procreation and what it is intended for through Opus Dei.

At this modern time, sexual revolution is very evident and I used to believe that this liberates us. We have our beliefs and the will to do whatever we wanted for we own our bodies. Later, I just realized that this revolution does not liberate us but instead it tends to exploit and enslave us – especially women. Blessed be Philippines for abortion is not yet legal but those who does this deceitful act is bound to suffer not only physically and emotionally but also spiritually. Furthermore, the contraception that the lawmakers are forcing to utilize is bound to go between relationships deign to fall due to lack of responsibility and commitment.

Changes

My life will not be exactly the same had I not known Saint Josemaria and his teachings. A new convert like me also falls to lukewarmness. I become very enthusiastic at times but later become indolent in doing my responsibility as a Catholic. My friends in Opus Dei helped me with this. With their help, my interior life is cultivated. More so, who would believe that a woman, a non-believer, is now teaching Catechism to children in slums?

Saint Josemaria’s philosophy of turning the work or any activity into occasion of growing closer to God taught me to avoid mediocrity, which is my fad. Everything done is for God and what is poorly achieved is an unwell offering to Him. All the talks, meditations, and classes contain essential Christian principles, which I’m trying to incorporate with my dealings and actions.

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It was Febraury 14, 2010 Archbishop Angel Lagdameo, officiated the unveiling and blessing of St. Josemaria’s relic and portrait. Families and priests related to Opus Dei came to witness the event. And this event will forever be remembered – especially by me. Most of the photos I took was washed out, granulated, and blurred but still, that day will never be forgotten.